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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24118630">The Big Picture</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lancelotl/pseuds/lancelotl'>lancelotl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shaman King (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>First Kiss, Fluff without Plot, M/M, This Is STUPID</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:13:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24118630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lancelotl/pseuds/lancelotl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Listen-" Horo starts, but he is interrupted by Ren abruptly sitting up, leaving the cup of tea to rest on a fallen branch. He gapes at Ren's extended hand, before grabbing it, careful to avoid the bandages, and being lifted to his feet fast enough that he sees stars.<br/>"Come. Let me show you something."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tao Ren/Usui Horokeu | "Trey Racer" Horohoro</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Big Picture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was an undeniable air of calm around mornings in the Asakura household, especially when the others hadn't yet woken up, and Ren could have his tea unbothered in the gardens. Under the large oak tree, with a blanket on his shoulders and the cup in his hands is how Horo finds him, lost in thought, his usual harsh training regime replaced with a placid, quiet stare in the distance. For a moment, Horo considers leaving him be, but something unconscious pulls him closer to examine the furrowed brows, a sign that Ren has noticed his presence. </p><p>"Never took you for a morning person." Ren breaks the silence, finally, without bothering to throw a look his way. At this, Horo becomes acutely aware of the fact that he had been staring, and his eyes find the uncomfortable sunlight as he brings a hand up to shield his view.<br/>
"That's because I am not and you know it."<br/>
Ren hums, moving slightly to make room under the tree, to which Horo happily obliges and sits down, closer than necessary by Ren's standards. However, neither budge.</p><p>Something unknown eats at Horo's insides, settling deep in the pit of his stomach as he remembers the events of the previous day. He sneaks a glance at Ren, but the other boy seems to focus intently on the stream of hot air rising from the cup in his bandaged hands, dried blood coating the thin layer of gauze. The silence suddenly gets unbearable.</p><p>"Listen-" Horo starts, but he is interrupted by Ren abruptly sitting up, leaving the cup of tea to rest on a fallen branch. He gapes at Ren's extended hand, before grabbing it, careful to avoid the bandages, and being lifted to his feet fast enough that he sees stars.<br/>
"Come. Let me show you something."<br/>
He does not wait for Horo to follow, but follow he does. The knot in his throat is there to stay for now, it seems. Ren leads them around the house, to a secluded spot in the yard where the weeds have overgrown and dandelions flourish, a stark contrast to the rest of the well-kept, grazed yard. An arm extends to stop Horo dead in his tracks, as the other boy turns to him, motioning to keep quiet. A beat passes, and in the flurry of sparrows chirping and the distant sound of the city waking up, Horo is too distraught to notice Ren getting eerily close to whisper in his ear. "I found kittens."</p><p>He can't help the smile breaking on his face, but it quickly dwindles when he turns his head to reply and he is met with purple eyes staring straight at him. For what feels like the umpteenth time this morning, Horo's words die in his throat, so instead he opts for quickly looking away, towards the bushes. Indeed, two black kittens curiously emerge from beneath the cluster of weeds, studying the two boys. There is a grip on Horo's arm that he hadn't noticed, and he realised Ren never let go of him. All he can focus on is the feeling of gauze touching his skin. Tears sting at his eyes.<br/>
"I'm-"<br/>
"Shh. You're going to scare them." Ren whispers. Horo blinks his tears away. The kittens don't seem to care, instead choosing to tumble about, ignoring the prying eyes. Horo feels sick. He starts walking away, Ren's grip on his arm searing his skin. Instead of trying to stop him, it's Ren's turn to follow suit, until they exit the deep-end corner of the house and walk back into the yard.<br/>
Horo chooses this moment to speak up.</p><p>"You....can't keep interrupting me. I need to-"<br/>
"What you need to do, dumbass, is look at the big picture" At this, Ren picks up his kwan-dao and swings at Horo, who dodges precisely, stepping to the left.<br/>
"My whole life, I've been trained to not depend on anyone. To not ask for help, much less to accept it when it is offered to me. So what do you think makes you different?"<br/>
Horo dodges another blow, furrowing his brows deeper. His gaze turns to the blood again, and he sees it. Ren, unconscious, lying in front of him. And thats the last thing he sees. His train of thoughts is interrupted.</p><p>"I am alive. And it's thanks to you. So stop worrying like this. You are being embarrassing."</p><p>"And what is the big picture here?" They dance around eachother, Horo realises with stupor as he avoids another swing of the sharp kwan-dao aimed at his throat.</p><p>"It is what it is. How are you not seeing it? You may be dafter than I thought."</p><p>"Stop being so cryptic. Spell it out for me."</p><p>"Why would I? You can figure it out yourself." This hit does not miss, and Horo is unceremoniously pinned to the ground by the sharp blade. Ren leans in. All Horo can see is the blood seeping through on Ren's fingers, wounds reopened after handling his weapon. </p><p>"Stop staring."</p><p>"I can't. It's my fault."</p><p>"Fuck's sake. Get up. Your defense is shit. Let's try this again."</p><p>Confusion spells out all over Horo's features as he sits up, steadying his stance. His eyebrows furrow, and he throws his bandanna off, blue hair flowing down to his shoulders. He catches Ren's eyes, dilated pupils and a faint blush on his cheeks which he passes on to exhaustion.<br/>
"My defenses are not that shit." Another swipe of the weapon. He jumps backwards and gets a running start to sliding his leg under Ren's ankles. The other boy stumbles, but quickly regains his balance using the kwan-dao. </p><p>"You have improved, I'll admit. But still-" in two short strides, Ren enters his personal bubble, and all Horo does, stupidly, is stare in awe as he crowds him into the oak tree. When did they even get close enough to it? There is an undecipherable look in Ren's eyes, who avoid his gaze while still seemingly taking in every detail of Horo's face.<br/>
"You are very easily distracted." The faintest hint of a smile in his voice makes Horo blink rapidly, his stomach twisting as he realises just how stupidly, stupidly close Ren's face is to his. To hell with any hint of decency, Horo's brain helpfully supplies. </p><p>"Am I."</p><p>"Mm."</p><p>Horo touches the weapon's blade on his throat, Ren's watchful eyes on his face, waiting for something Horo can't quite pinpoint but is starting to get an idea of. Softly, the blade lowers, leaving the slightest hint of a space between them, too close and yet, somehow, achingly far. Horo finds he doesn't really know how to breathe anymore. Again, again, it is Ren who takes pity and breaks the silence.</p><p>"Why did you come here this morning?" It's more of a whisper than anything, or at least that is how Horo feels it on his skin, unable to look away from Ren's pointed stare.</p><p>Horo gulps. He distantly recognises the feeling in the pit of his stomach as butterflies. Fucking butterflies in his stomach for Tao fucking Ren. Everything makes sense, at once, and yet nothing does. He needs to get away. But as he lifts his head from where it had been pinned on the tree, the blade quickly returns to his throat. </p><p>"Again. You are easily distracted. I know I may be asking much of you but. For once in your life. Think."<br/>
The fastest way out would be to reply to Ren, of course, which would have been infinitely easier if only he could turn back time to 10 seconds ago, when he was blisfully unaware of his stupid crush.</p><p>"Alright. Alright. I came here this morning because I was worried. For you" </p><p>That should sound inconspicuous enough.</p><p>"And?" </p><p>The question leaves Ren's mouth faster than expected, almost breathlessly, his stare still cold and unreadable. Again, Horo's eyes drift to the bloodied hands on the kwan-dao. The mixture of feelings Horo experiences dissolves into bitter anger.</p><p>"And-what do you mean and? You're my best friend. You almost died. It was my fault. I have a right to be worried."<br/>
This surprises Ren, who lifts his brows questioningly and whose grip on the blade wavers almost unnoticeably. Horo notices.</p><p>"S'not what i meant. You are getting distracted, again." </p><p>Swiftly, the weapon retracts as Ren jumps back. In spite of nothing holding him there physically anymore, Horo remains pinned to the tree. </p><p>"Block all my attacks without deflecting. Focus on disarming me."</p><p>"But I-" his words once again go unspoken, because his reflexes tell him to duck. Where his head had been previously was now the kwan-dao. His arms shoot up to grab the weapon, but Ren is faster, kicking it off in the grass below. Horo scrambles to get it, and Ren once again foils his plan, grabbing it and lifting it off the ground. Now fully focused, Horo backflips right into the tree, using it as leverage to jump behind Ren, whose eyes widen almost comically as he throws the kwan-dao in the air, ducking from Horo's grasp to catch it again. They go like this until, carelessly, Ren slips up and Horo takes advantage of the opportunity  crowding him into the tree. Oh, how the tables have turned. Horo grabs the kwan dao and ditches it behind him, where it lands with a thud, using his other arm to pin Ren's wrists carefully above his head. Ren could easily wriggle out. He could. Horo knows it, he knows it. Instead, he catches his breath beneath his ribs, closing his eyes languidly, like a cat. Horo smirks.</p><p>"Whose defenses are shit again?"</p><p>"Don't flatter yourself." Ren wiggles his wrists demonstratively, and Horo's grip loosens even more, not fully letting go.</p><p>"Wasn't planning to." He swallows the knot in his throat. Might as well be now or never. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"Again with this-" Ren starts, exasperated, as he moves to escape Horo's hold.</p><p>"No, listen to me. I'm sorry. All I wish for is to protect you." Ren's stare turns unreadable again, and Horo finds he hates it. Ren was never an open book, but there are things that need spelling out. He swallows thickly again. The last thing he wants right now is for his best friend to figure out he's got a desperate crush, but his mouth-to-brain connection seems mangled. He attempts to blink it out.</p><p>"And I told you, I don't need it."</p><p>"I know. But I still want to." He speaks softer than intended. Ren furrows his brows, staring straight into Horo's eyes for the first time. It's too much. Horo hungers for more answers, for something to hold on to.</p><p>"Are you seeing it?" </p><p>Horo knows by "it" Ren means "the big picture". Whatever that is. But he looks at the bandages below his hand again, at Ren's soft features staring him down and he yearns for something unknown. He wants to see it. He truly does. But instead.</p><p>"I am seeing you." </p><p>This time, Horo drops his hand and lets it slide, and Ren stops it with his own. His eyes drift down and stop to rest on the crease in Ren's brows, afraid to move any lower. This is uncharted territory, Horo thinks haphazardly. This is more questions than answers. The butterflies in his stomach take flight.</p><p>"Good. Taking advantage of a slip up of mine to immobilise and disarm me. I was right. You have gotten better."</p><p>Horo blinks, again. The moment seems to have passed as quickly as it came, but his desire to smack his lips to Tao Ren's stupid condescending face still hasn't. Which is a problem, because Ren still hasn't let go of his hand. And it is then when it hits him. The big picture. An epiphany compared to Albert Einstein discovering the theory of gravity. Or something. Horo has more pressing matters on his mind to think about. Like Ren jumping, unthinkingly, in the face of near death for him. Like Ren, training with him so much that a simple test of skills turns into a dance where they are so aware of eachother neither can truly win. Like Ren, abandoning his priced morning tea to show him the kittens under a bush in the Asakura yard. Like Ren, waiting, wanting for him to see the big picture. Tears prick at his eyes.</p><p>"Oi, shit hair. Are you crying?"</p><p>Ren is not letting go of his hand.</p><p>"You like my hair." Horo laughs, blinking the tears away. It is not a question.<br/>
Ren splutters, settling for an eyeroll and a huff, sliding down on the tree and dragging Horo with him. They catch their breaths, and Ren closes his eyes under the gentle morning sun. Time stills, and Horo's new found bravery makes him grit his teeth.</p><p>"Can I kiss you?" comes the question, quiet and hushed as a secret.</p><p>Ren makes a grimace that can only be interpreted as disgust, but doesn't let go of Horo's hand, instead squeezing it in his lap. </p><p>"You are stupid." he says, and he looks away, covering his mouth with his free hand. A dust pink lights his cheeks, which only emboldens Horo.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah I really am." He lifts Ren's bandaged hand to his mouth, pressing a chaste kiss on his knuckles. A laugh bubbles in his chest. </p><p>But Ren doesn't take too long until he turns his head back to Horo, with a serious glint in his eyes. His blush is still deep.</p><p>"You think we can sneak one of the kittens in without Anna figuring it out?"</p><p>"Mm. How about both?" Horo suggests.</p><p>The kiss Ren gives him makes him dizzy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i love hororen so much this is just written in 30 minutes of me seeing absolutely nothing in front of my eyes except pining hororen. </p><p>anyway the idea of "the big picture" metaphor came from another fic, im pretty sure, i just cant for the life of me remember where i read it. </p><p>anyway, hope you enjoy. its 2020 good lord give us a shaman king remake. come yell at me about hororen.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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